


The things we deserve

by Urimaginarygirlfriend



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Minor Meera Reed/Bran Stark, Minor Robb Stark/Margaery Tyrell, Minor Talisa Maegyr/Robb Stark, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:25:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7511734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urimaginarygirlfriend/pseuds/Urimaginarygirlfriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern Au</p><p>Jon and Sansa are always honest, and have each other's backs. So when Sansa feels like Jon is hiding something, she finds that what is wrong with Jon is not wrong at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Honesty

Sansa is leaning into a dark corner, trying hard to ignore the pressing, damp air giving her a headache, and the boys shouting over a game of beer pong. She would have gone outside, escaping to the chilly summer night, but the thought of how many drunk guys with one thing in mind out there is keeping her inside.

She regrets letting Margaery convince her to go. Margaery has been her roommate since years ago, and after everything with Joffrey and the internship from hell last summer with Petyr Baelish, Margaery said that if she wanted to get back out and have some fun, to put all that behind her, she should go. And in lack of other plans she had.

But the beer she took from the cooler an hour ago doesn't taste half as good now as it did and Sansa has failed to not only have fun, but she isn't even properly drunk. Not drunk enough to go outside at night and walk back to their apartment alone and not drunk enough to take any of the guys who's hit on her the past hours up on their offers. That's something, at least.

She's secretly hovering by the door of the ground-floor apartment, looking for someone who could drive her home, but the party is still going strong, and most people aren't thinking of leaving yet. Sansa has to really think to find someone who might want to get out, but she doesn't find anyone.

Margaery is too drunk to drive, so is Jeyne and Beth, and Mya who is home studying never got her drivers license. That leaves her with her brother, but he's drunk, and Sansa is almost certain that it's him Margaery is making out with.

She scans the room for possible drivers, and standing in a corner much like she had, Jon snow is cradling a beer in his hand, with the cap still on, and Sansa knows he is the designated driver tonight. Jon probably doesn't mind, he's never been that into parties anyway, and Sansa knows she could convince Robb to let him drive her instead.

But when she approaches Jon she gets butterflies in her stomach, if it is from the alcohol or joy because she's about to go home she doesn't know, and when he spots her and gives her a shy smile, she blushes and grins back so wide she thinks she must look ridiculous. She bumps into a table on the way, and before she can steady herself, Jon is there, his hand on her waist and the other trying to catch her hand.

She flushes and holds onto him, suddenly he's a bit closer than usual, and Sansa doesn't know why being near him feels different now, but it does, and she's so caught up in it she fails to steady herself and instead leans onto him, making him think she's a lot more drunk than she is. His voice saying her name pulls her out of her thoughts.

"Sansa?" Sansa blinks and finally manages to stand straight again. "Jon. Hi, I was wondering if maybe I could persuade Robb to let you drive me home? If that's okay with you, you don't have to." The furrow between his brows lightens a bit when he realises nothing's wrong, and he nods.

"Sure, yeah, I'll drive you. But I'm supposed to drive the other guys tonight. We've got to ask Robb first." Sansa smiles and gives her thanks before she takes Jon's hand and pulls him towards Margaery and her "friend". "Robb?" She asks, and how fast he reacts to her voice is almost worrying, and it startles Margaery. "Sansa. Hey."

He immediately pulls away from Margaery and starts fumbling with the edge if his shirt. "Robb, I was hoping you could let Jon drive me home? I know he's supposed to drive you, but you could all walk home together, while I can't." Robb is rubbing his face with his palm while she speaks, but even when he's drunk he knows she's right.

"Sure. Go ahead. We can walk, it's fine. Anything for my baby sis." Sansa gives him that smile that makes everything he does to make her happy worth it, and turns to Jon again. He raises his eyebrow to ask if she wants to go, and she nods.

They start making their way outside, but something's keeping Jon behind, and Sansa waits by the door. When he catches up they both walk outside and Sansa follows him to his car.

"What was that?" She asks while they're putting on their seat belts, and he scratches the back of his neck and says : "Erm, it was nothing, Robb just wanted to tell me something." Sansa doesn't ask further, she has a slight feeling he's not being completely honest, but Jon isn't known for being good with words, so she let's it go.

The car ride is silent, but not awkward, they have sat in silence like this too many times to find it awkward anymore. Ever since Robb brought him home on his first day of school, Jon has been a major part of the Stark family, and he and Robb are inseparable. When his mother, a good friend of Father, got sick with cancer, Jon moved in with them and shared a room with Robb. After his mother died of her cancer when Jon was 16, it was easier for everyone to let Jon stay and Father was made his guardian before Jon's mother died. Mother didn't like all the legal connections they had, but she tolerated Jon, and he always had what he needed.

Sansa never really talked to him, he was quiet and shy where she was outgoing and loud. But here at college, now that so much has changed, Sansa often feels attracted to Jon's company.

He always knows how to cheer her up, he asks all the right questions and they can be silent too, like now. It's a fresh breath compared to everyone who's after her money or her body or whatever it is they think she'll give them. Jon isn't like that though. He just looks after her sometimes. And makes her stomach flip. And makes her blush.

Sansa shoves those thoughts away when she's getting closer to their apartment building and she realises she doesn't have keys. Mya lives next door, but she's probably asleep.

Sansa stops Jon when he tries to park. "Wait. I don't have keys. I'm sorry." Jon sighs, and Sansa feels bad for making him do this. But she has nowhere else to go.

"It's fine. You can sleep at our place. Theon's out for the weekend, and Robb will probably pass out on the couch, so you're free to pick." Sansa can see he's annoyed, and takes his hand. Jon is never like this.

Maybe he had plans, maybe that's why he doesn't want her to be there. Whatever is making him act different, Sansa doesn't like it. He looks at her, and she says as sincere as she can: "I'm sorry."

He gives her a sad smile, and says it's fine. No, Sansa thinks, it's never just fine. They used to be honest. Why he isn't now is beyond her.She lets go of his hand and stares out the window at the passing streetlights for the rest of the drive.

Jon, Theon and Robb share an old flat not to far away from hers that they rent from Theon's parents. It's not big, and Jon tells her as they're going up the stairs that there's only one bathroom. It consists of primarily Ikea furniture, but Sansa knows that Robb's last girlfriend made them buy some throw pillows and blankets, and there are a couple of cheap flee market paintings on the walls and some plants, one on the kitchen counter, one next to the tv and one in the windowsill by the door. There's pizza in the fridge, and Sansa helps herself to it while Jon goes to brush his teeth.

When he's done he says goodnight, and Sansa gives him a hug. He hesitates for a second, but then he leans in. Sansa says goodnight back and goes to the bathroom. She doesn't have any toiletries, but Sansa finds a new toothbrush in the cupboard and uses some of Robb's toothpaste. Fortunately, Robb's ex has left a bottle of makeup remover and some cotton pads so Sansa can take of her makeup, and when she's done she goes to find Robb's room.

Outside the bathroom door there is an old t-shirt on the ground, and a note with her name on it. Sansa realises Jon has left it for her to sleep in, and smiles when the shirt smells like him. This is something so typically Jon, and it sparks something in Sansa she can't quite explain.

She puts it on in replacement of her uncomfortable blouse and shorts, and goes to bed in Robb's room. She's tired and tipsy, but she can't sleep. The shirt she is wearing reminds her of Jon, and she can't rid herself of the feeling that something is wrong.

Maybe he's just tired of being nice to her, but he has done bigger things before without expecting her thanks. It's not like Jon to be dismissive towards her and Sansa knows he's hiding something. She makes it her mission to find what it is he wants to keep from her.

She gets out of the bed and quickly walks over to Jon's room. She knocks on the door before entering, but doesn't care to wait for him to answer. He isn't sleeping.

Sansa closes the door behind her and takes a blanket before curling into the bed beside him. He turns towards her and in lack of a real reason to be there she says: "You said I was free to pick."

He yawns and nods. He's too tired to make any objections. He closes his eyes and for a while they just lay facing each other, Jon trying to sleep and Sansa watching him.

After a while she is sure he's going to fall asleep soon, and decides she has to ask him now. "Jon," she whispers and shakes his shoulder. He is barely asleep, and wakes fast. Sansa lights the bedside lamp. "Jon, we have to talk."

She sits up in the bed and motions for Jon to do the same. He lights the lamp on his side and puts on his glasses. Sansa crosses her legs and pulls the blanket off. "Jon," she starts, "You've been acting strange lately and I don't know why. I'm worried. It's like you're hiding something from me. And I don't like it. I wish you could tell me. You don't have to deal with stuff alone, you know that. I'm here for you. I don't like to see you being sad."

He's helped her through some bad things before, and she wants to help him too. He was the one to make her admit to Joffrey's humiliating comments, and it was Jon who drove her home and called her parents when her boss, Mr Baelish, had gotten handsy and Sansa didn't know who else she should call.

He deserves to be honest. Sansa can tell that at least some of the things she has said has gotten into him, because he's giving her that sad smile again and Sansa is almost annoyed with him.

"Nothing is wrong Sansa. Go to sleep." Sansa wants to throw her pillow at him and is startled at the realisation, she's never felt outright angry at Jon being unhappy. "How can I sleep when you're sad because of something you're not telling me?"

Jon sighs again, and Sansa closes her eyes as he does because she knows it's going to annoy her even more. "Sansa, you don't understand, some things-" Sansa cuts him off; "Then help me understand," she says loudly, moving closer to him.

"I can't, Sansa, it doesn't-" Jon is getting frustrated, and Sansa cuts him off again, saying insistently: "Why can't you tell me?" Jon bites his lip quickly and takes a deep breath before looking into her eyes and saying angrily: "Because I'm in love with you. That's why. Now go to sleep."

Sansa is stunned. Jon turns off his lamp and lays down, turning away from her. Sansa does so too, slowly, and what he has said is sinking in.

He's in love with me. That's why he's been strange. That's why he didn't want to take me here. He's frustrated because I'm sleeping in the room next to him and he's in love with me.

She doesn't quite get why he didn't just tell her, but Jon is shy and maybe he was afraid she didn't think of him like that. Sansa isn't sure if she is, but she remembers how she felt when he touched her, and she feels a bit whimsy now, laying next to Jon in his bed.

She realises she wants Jon to turn around and put his arms around her, to pull her close and kiss her. Maybe she should take a shot. Jon is a good guy, he won't hurt her, and she won't hurt him.

That's how she gathers the courage to tap his shoulder so he'll turn, and before he can get mad she kisses him, light at first, and when he responds she moves closer, wrapping her arms around his neck and he pulls her close. There is a warmth spreading through her chest, pulling her towards him, urging her to keep kissing him.

When she finally pulls away she is grinning, she peppers Jon's face with kisses on his brow, his cheeks, his chin and his lips, and Jon is smiling too. He looks so pretty when he smiles, she thinks, and she buries her face in his shoulder.

"You should have told me sooner." Jon's voice is thick and sleepy when he echoes back: "I should have told you sooner." It's a promise of something more, something honest and good, something that perhaps was meant to be. Now, Sansa thinks, now I can sleep.


	2. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghosts from the past have more power than they should.

Jon can't really believe what is happening. He falls asleep with Sansa in his arms, and suddenly something he has wanted as long as he can remember is there, so close it doesn't feel real.

He helps her sneak out in the morning without waking Robb. He watches her walk down the pavement from the window by the door, she's still wearing his old shirt, and she is smiling, she walks with a confidence he hasn't seen in months, and she twirls more than once before she rounds a corner and is out of sight. "Wipe that smug grin off your face, that's my sister."

Robb has been watching him watching her, and he can see that Robb's joking. He can't help but laugh because he knows he looks ridiculous, and Robb waves him over to the couch. Jon sits down in one end while Robb is occupying the rest, and Robb congratulates him. "I know you've been into her for a long time, and I'm happy for you, but if you hurt her you know I'm going to beat you up." Jon knows. But he'll never hurt Sansa. "Of course, if you can get there before I beat up myself." Robb seems content. "And you have to be careful. I don't want any details, or insinuations of anything, I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear you, I don't want anything to do with whatever it is that you're doing."

Jon nods. He never talks about stuff like that anyway. Not even with Robb. He has only had one other girlfriend, Ygritte, and they were so careful that Robb teased him about being pious. Ygritte was strong and fierce, but she was stubborn and proud too, and Jon couldn't handle her. The constant threats of leaving, the tiresome arguments and finally, the job offer across the country that Ygritte took without telling him. They had been together for over a year.

But that's a long time ago now, and Sansa isn't like Ygritte. Not at all. Sansa is kind and sweet, but she can be strong too, and she's funny and gorgeous, and she deserves better than abusive boyfriends and creepy bosses.

They meet again the day after for lunch, in the little gap between Sansa's job as a teaching substitute ends and Jon's as a bartender starts. Their conversation moves easily and fluid, and Jon can see Sansa feels relieved to be honest.

Joffrey only wanted the good parts of her, the prim and proper girl with makeup on her face and pearls around her neck, while Mr. Baelish wanted something that didn't exist, he wanted a concept, a body with a few frases attached. Jon only wants her, to share her mind and her happiness, nothing more, and the simplicity of it feels so warm and close that Jon wonders why he didn't tell her before. 

They eat lunch almost every day, and on the weekends the have movie nights, where they sit on Jon's couch snuggling while trying to ignore Robb and Theon's annoying commentary. It is on one of these nights, about a month after their first kiss, when Theon and Robb has gone to sleep, that Sansa turns towards him and says: "Joffrey called Margaery. He wanted to hear if I wanted to meet with him again. I told Margaery to tell him I already have a man."

Jon pulls her closer so she is laying across his lap, her head pillowed on the edge of the sofa and his arm. He kisses her forehead and asks: "You could have told him you have a boyfriend." Sansa smiles. "Well, to have boyfriend, I must be a girlfriend. Am I?" Sansa is teasing him, but he laughs and says "Yes, if I'm your boyfriend, than you're my girlfriend. Deal?"

Sansa laughs and nods her consent. He kisses her then, deep and thoroughly, like her mouth is a well and he hasn't drunk water in days. It feels effortless to kiss her, like their lips lock and their tongues find each other almost automatically, like it was always supposed to be that way. 

They're together now, a couple, and just in time for the annual Stark summer barbecue at the Stark house. It's not really that big, but most of the Starks are there and they all invite some friends. Bran is talking to Jojen and Meera, Rickon is running around with his friends from school, while Arya has invited a few guys from her soccer team. Sansa has brought along Margaery and Jeyne, and Robb and Jon has invited Theon and a guy called Sam that Jon works with. Sam is the only one who hasn't been here before, and he hovers around the cooler, trying to make small talk with the people grabbing drinks.

Sansa and Jon tells Sansa's parents about their relationship, and while Mr. Stark hugs them both, Mrs. Stark settles on giving Jon a firm handshake and a pat on his shoulder. Most people might have considered it cold, but Sansa knows her mother hasn't hugged Jon in years, and this is a large improvement from her usual behaviour.

Everything is going great, everyone is having fun, and the hotdogs are almost ready when the doorbell rings. The backyard is loud, but Sansa is standing close to the backdoor and goes through the house to answer.

Everyone who is invited is already here, and Sansa wonders if this is the neighbours complaining about them being loud. But standing on the door mat with his Mercedes parked in the driveway is Joffrey Baratheon. He looks annoyed and restless, like she has done something to make him mad, but she hasn't seen him in half a year.

He hasn't changed at all, but Sansa has, she's not wearing lots of makeup and she has long left the pretty dresses and skirts he wanted her to wear. He scans her up and down, before opening his mouth. Sansa almost wants to punch it just to keep it closed.

"Sansa." He says as adoring as he can. Sansa isn't charmed. "What do you want?" Joffrey realises he won't get anywhere with pretty flattery, and gets to the case. "I want to see this man of yours that's keeping you away from me." Sansa sees what's going on. Joffrey has probably been dumped and needs a quick comeback, or he just wants to hurt her again. "You want to see my boyfriend? The one that loves me and makes me happy? So you can ruin things again? I don't think so."

Joffrey stretches his neck and peeks behind her. Sansa follows his eyes and sees Jon talking with Robb and one of Arya's friends. Joffrey tries to get past her to get to Jon, and Sansa tries to push him back so she can shut the door and lock him out, but he's stronger than her, and he starts shouting when she holds him back. She grunts and lets out a screech in her efforts, which captures Jon's attention, and he quickly leaves the conversation to get to her.

He's in the kitchen, which is almost in the other end of the house, and Joffrey sees his defeat as Jon approaches. "Jon? Really? Is he the only one who would take you? I heard about your internship, Sansa. You're damaged goods now. How many nights have you cried yourself to sleep? Has he even seen you cry? I was prepared to take you back, but it seems you're going to torture that son of a bitch instead. All the better for me, I guess. When he finds out how broken you are he'll leave you, and you know that, still you're too selfish to let him go before you've trapped him."

Sansa is loosing her power to keep him away, and the things he says are reaching her, in spite of all the times she has told herself Joffrey is a liar, that he only wants to hurt her, because she sees some truth in his words.

Jon is there now, he pushes Joffrey away and takes her arm to push her behind him. Joffrey is ready to leave, knowing he has inflicted enough damage. "How noble. Let's see how nice he is when he learns the truth."

He leaves and drives his Mercedes away with a loud screech, making the rest of the party aware that something's going on. "Are you ok? Sansa?" Jon is holding her face, and when she nods, he tugs her into his chest and she wishes she could stay there forever.

People have started to surround them now, asking all sorts of questions, but Sansa doesn't want to answer them. She needs to think. Robb, who watched the whole thing, is hushing people away and suggests to Jon over his shoulder that they go home, before he tells the others what has happened. Jon asks Sansa if that's what she wants, to go home, and she nods again and leads him to the car.

The ride home to Sansa's apartment isn't that long, but long enough for Sansa to think through a couple of things. Joffrey isn't right. Jon would never leave her. That's why she can't let this go on. She is broken, she cries over small things like hearing the coffee order of her old boss, when she passes an old fraternity house and remembers all the crap Joffrey did to her there, and when she sees an old pearl necklace that Joffrey's mother gave her so she 'didn't look like a whore'.

Jon deserves someone strong, someone who can make him smile and makes him happy. He is the nicest guy in the world, he doesn't deserve a girlfriend who cries and is clingy and needs him to hold her constantly.

That is what she tells him when they get to her apartment and she opens the door. It's easier to do it now, before they've done anything more than make out and sleep over, before they've known each other like that.

Jon didn't expect this. He was ready to let her cry, to make her smile again, to bring her back to herself and make her forget about Joffrey. And now she's ending it. She tells him to leave, and Jon can't do anything but obey. If this is what she wants he will not stand in her way. She can't even look at him as he leaves.

She doesn't say goodbye. He does. Maybe he should have seen this coming. Perhaps he was stupid to think this could last. He probably just made it bigger than it was, she never liked him that much, she just felt sorry for him. She doesn't want him. He drives back to his apartment almost automatically, he brushes his teeth and goes to bed, even though he hasn't had dinner yet. He won't be able to sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's starting to look like this is going to have four chapters, and thanks for all the positive feedback!


	3. Revelaitons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa sees the consequences of her choice, and they're not pretty.

It's been a week. Margaery is by the door, putting on lipstick and choosing shoes for her date. She's going out with Robb. After the barbecue they found they liked each other sober too.

Sansa is in her pyjamas, sitting on the couch watching a quiz show. It's all she's been doing since she broke up with Jon. She goes to work in the morning, does whatever chores she have, and then tries to avert her mind by watching tv shows. She has cried too, she cried the whole night after Jon left, but she hasn't cried since last night, and Sansa can only see it as a step forwards.

Margaery has been supportive, staying with her when she cries, ordering food for her when she's too exhausted to make her own, and she even bought her lemon pies, Sansa's favourite, just to cheer her up, and those pies are really expensive. It's helping, and Sansa thinks she might be getting over Jon.

Still she catches herself thinking about him when she's working, and turning to him to make a comment about the tv show, but he's not there.

Margaery has opened the door, and gives her a quick goodbye before leaving. It's the first time she's completely alone since the breakup, and Sansa is a bit scared. She misses Jon terribly, but she made a choice, and she has to stand by it now.

She couldn't look at him as he left, scared that he wouldn't leave if he saw her tears. It's a wonder that she hasn't heard from Robb. If it had been anyone other than Jon he would have ordered take away from all her favourite restaurants, he would have brought all her favourite movies, he would have drove Arya, Bran and Rickon over to have a film marathon, and Jon would have been there too.

She remembers something he  
said to her after Joffrey dumped her, "you shouldn't do anything to please anyone other than yourself". She might be glad she did this someday, when Jon is with someone he can love, and she's over him. That day isn't today, though.

She keeps watching trashy tv until Margaery comes home again. She realises how late it is, and turns off the television. Margaery looks tired, but strangely focused.

"How did it go?" Margaery shrugged. "Fine. We didn't really hit the tone though, I don't think we'll go on another date." Sansa felt a bit relieved. She didn't really see how Robb and Margaery could have a long-term relationship.

"What did you talk about?" Margaery plunged down on the sofa besides Sansa. "Hobbies, we discussed sports. And we talked about you and Jon." Sansa doesn't really know why she gets nervous when she hears that. She can't have anything to do with Jon if she wants to move on.

"Me and Jon?" Margaery nods. "Yup. You and Jon. Turns out Jon is dealing with this even worse than you." Sansa doesn't know what Margaery is trying to do, so she stays silent. Margaery leans closer to her.

"He doesn't go outside, San. He stays in his room all day and he barely eats, he doesn't talk without being talked to, he's only had one shift at the bar since you dumped him."

"I didn't dump him," Sansa replies bluntly. Margaery raises a brow. "Didn't you? Well, you better tell him. He thinks you don't like him. He thinks that he imagined the whole thing and that you didn't care about him. And he's blaming himself." Sansa is getting frustrated, Margaery doesn't understand.

"Margaery, he deserves-" Margaery grips Sansa's hand and cuts her off. "Who cares what he deserves? What about what he wants? He wants someone who makes him happy, and you do that, Sansa. And he makes you happy, I've seen it with my own eyes. And you deserve a guy like him. He wants to be with you, you want to be with him. You deserve each other. You two have something special, and I can't let you throw that away."

Margaery's words aren't enough. She says that Sansa made Jon happy, but Sansa isn't convinced. And even if she had, she has spoiled it now. Jon wouldn't want her back. 

Sansa shakes her head and goes to her room. She is tired, she wants to be alone. She can hear Margaery's sigh as she closes her door, and collapses on her bed. She wished Arya could be here. They disagree about a lot of things, but they've always been understanding when it comes to boys. But again, this is Jon, and she's not sure Arya wouldn't be mad at her.

Perhaps she should call Mya. She doesn't know Jon, she wouldn't take sides, she never does. But that's not what she needs. She needs to talk to Robb. She needs to know how Jon is. Then she'll know what to do.

She calls Robb the next morning, and he agrees to meet her. They decide to have lunch at a café, and Robb says he has a lot to tell. Robb usually doesn't use lots of money to eat out, but Sansa is his little sister, and he's always spoiled her a bit. Sansa asks about Jon, and Robb starts telling. 

"He has gone into a rhythm. He wakes up, eats cereal on the counter in silence, goes back to his room, comes out to eat lunch, goes back to his room, goes to work, comes home, has dinner, goes to his room, goes to sleep. He never smiles. Never. Nothing makes him happy anymore. He doesn't want to watch soccer with us, he doesn't want to go out, Theon and I even made a big fancy dinner with all his favourite food and he ate the whole thing in silence. He only talks when we talk to him.

"He isn't right, Sansa. I don't know what you said, but it hit him hard. He thinks you hate him." Sansa can almost see Jon's sad face in front of her. It breaks her heart. "I have to fix this." Sansa's voice breaks with guilt. Robb nods. "What did you say to him? Why did you break up?"

They are interrupted by their waitress, a girl their age named Talisa that Robb takes great interest in, and they both order sandwiches and coffee. Sansa goes on to explain, and Robb rolls his eyes. "I'm telling you, as your brother and Jon's best friend, you deserve each other. I haven't seen any of you this sad in a long time, and I can't remember seeing you as happy as when you were together either.

"You are strong and brave, Sansa, and even though you still have your moments Jon is happy to help you. He wants to help you, just like you think this is going to help him. You have to say what you feel. You have to give this a chance, for both Jon's sake and your own."

All Sansa wants is to be back with Jon, she sees that she has made a huge mistake now, but she has hurt him really bad. "But how could he take me back? You said it yourself, you haven't seen Jon this sad in a long time. He probably hates me now." Robb leans back in his chair.

"Trust me, San. If you told him how you feel and say you're sorry, he will take you back in a heartbeat." She swallows hard.

Robb leaves his number for the waitress and Sansa rolls her eyes. He drives her home, only to find an empty apartment and a note from Margaery saying she's at her cousin's house. 

She wants to believe Robb so badly. She wants to be with Jon. She wants to see him laugh and nuzzle into his chest and stay there forever. She wants to be forgiven, and God knows she hasn't been forgiven for her mistakes in a long time.

She needs to hear it from Jon. She needs to hear him say that she made a mistake and that he will look past it. She needs to see that sad, forgiving smile and feel his arms around her again. She won't be able to sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I know this chapter isn't as long as the others, but I promise things will pick up again in the next one!


	4. Correction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a late chapter! I've been on vacation so I haven't had the time to write, but now it's finally here! Enjoy :)

It's difficult to find a place to confront Jon. As Robb said, he doesn't leave his room unless it's to eat, and Jon is one of the quickest eaters Sansa knows, so it would be risky to try and get to him there.

Besides, Theon is sick, and Sansa wants to do this alone. But Robb says he's working a shift at the bar, and Sansa hopes she can talk to him there.

She puts on semi-nice clothes, just to fit in at a bar that's probably going to be full of people who have gone out on the town. She grits her teeth at Jon picking a Saturday to work, but that's of course when they need him the most, and Jon never fails to deliver.

She's wearing a skirt, black and wide, reaching her knees. Joffrey would have called her a nun and told her to show off her legs, but Sansa feels pretty in it, and she's certain Jon would like it. She's wearing a shirt tucked into it, though she regrets not putting anything underneath, because the bar is incredibly warm.

She's never been at The Night Crow before, the bar Jon works at, since it's on the other side of town, but Margaery tells her it's a nice place, nothing too fancy, but not a completely casual, drinking-to-get-drunk kind of place. 

She doesn't know what to expect from tonight. Jon could quietly reject her, he could start shouting and make a scene, or maybe she'll start crying and Jon has to throw her out of the bar.

All the worst case scenarios are finding their way to her when she sees him. He looks terrible. He has washed his hair and put on a shirt for tonight, but he doesn't smile. She bites her lip in an attempt to settle herself, but it isn't working to well.

Her thoughts of what her next step will be are interrupted by a second bartender asking her what she wants. She nervously orders a dry martini, only because she can't recall any other drink at the moment. She tells the bartender to tell Jon she is here, and that she wants to talk to him.

He raises his brow, and Sansa knows she probably isn't the first girl to try to get Jon's attention, but she tells him her name and it seems like it rings a bell. No matter if he knows what is going on between Jon and Sansa, he goes to tell Jon that she's here. Sansa stares very intently on the mirror in the back of the bar to avoid Jon's eyes when he sees her. 

She can't really keep her eyes off of him though, she turns to look at him, and there's something in the way the dim light hits him and he looks at her that takes her breath away and makes her knees weak.

She quickly turns away, embarrassed of her lacking ability to keep calm around him and just a tiny bit mad that he looks incredibly handsome in that shirt with rolled up sleeves. This is probably how he always looks when he's working, but it still makes Sansa tremble a bit. 

She draws her eyes away by fiddling with something in her purse, listening to the bar bench opening and closing and the rapid, light footsteps coming closer that scream so typical Jon that Sansa gets gooseflesh. 

He doesn't waist his time, he takes her hand and pulls her through the crowded bar to a backroom. Sansa stumbles in and Jon flicks the light switch on.

"Hey," Sansa says. "What are you doing here?" Sansa can see the agony in Jon's eyes and any attempt to be cool about this melts away. There is not a fibre of her being that doesn't wish she could put her arms around his neck and have things be like they were before.

"I made a mistake, okay?" Jon's lip is quivering just slightly, and it makes Sansa want to punch herself. "I thought you'd be better off without a traumatised girlfriend, I thought you would be happier if you didn't have me to comfort all the time, I thought I was a burden.

"But everyone keeps telling me that you want to help me, that you care about me and that you don't feel trapped with me and I just really, really wish that was true." Sansa can't read Jon's face, she doesn't know if she can see surprise, repent or disgust, or maybe a mix of them, but it makes her feel vulnerable. 

"I came here tonight because if that is not the case, then I have screwed up. I can't stop thinking about you, and of what Robb tells me, I'm starting to think that maybe we are happier together."

Jon leans against the wall of the broom cupboard, and Sansa feels like she's going mad in anticipation; she is standing on the edge between heaven and hell.

After a small while he turns to her, determination on his face. "You did this because you thought you were a burden?" Sansa nods eagerly. "You thought I would get tired of making you feel better, that I felt trapped?" Sansa nods again and bites her lip, it's getting worse and worse to wait.

Jon's head is spinning, this information is so new, he never expected any of this to be the case. He feels like he should have seen this coming. He has to think about it for a bit before it hits him that Sansa is saying between the lines that she doesn't think she will ever get over Joffrey and Mr. Baelish, that they will always haunt her like they do now. 

"Sansa, you're a strong woman. You will get over Joffrey and Mr. Baelish, someday the memory of them won't hurt you that much. I want to be with you, Sansa, no matter if that comes with all the hard stuff. You shouldn't doubt that."

Sansa feels like she can't breathe, her stomach is turning and twisting into knots, and she feels like she will burst any second. 

"Will you take me back?"

Sansa almost can't say it, the words lie so deep in her it feels like she has to use every muscle in her body to say them.

"I will. Of course I will." It doesn't take long before Sansa is heaving against Jon's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her and every thought of wanting to run is gone. 

It's a new beginning, a new appreciation of Jon and his being, now that she knows what it means to be away from him. She tangles her hands in his hair and kisses him, reveling in the sweetness of his mouth and his tongue brushing against hers.

Jon still has to work, and Sansa is getting quite tired, but she has bought a drink and if she's correct that girl by the bathroom is the waitress she and Robb met, and she's just been stood up by her date. She calls Robb and tells him that she and Jon are back together, and tells him to put on some clothes and get over here.

She calls a cab and goes home, skipping down the pavement when she gets to her apartment building. She's smiling so wide her cheeks hurt, and almost walks into a lamppost, clouded as her mind is with thoughts about what tomorrow will bring. She won't be able to sleep tonight.


End file.
